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Keywords:

• Bring the pizza

Comment: ill bring the boundaries we can cross

Keywords:

• I didn't punch him

Comment: it was just love coming out of my fist

Keywords:

• Are you kidding me?????

Comment: How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP

Keywords:

• she genuinely believed that kangaroos

Comment: are a cross between a deer and a T-rex

Keywords:

• Yep

Comment: if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again

Keywords:

• I'm on my way back with the wine...

Comment: And a puppy. It was free

Keywords:

• well one of us has to be wrong

Comment: and it's not going to be me

Keywords:

• He literally wrote out a schedule

Comment: On it there's a taco break and a spot where I start crying

Keywords:

• This may be a weird question to ask

Comment: someone who is 21 years old but are you grounded?

Keywords:

• Have you ever just like not slept

Comment: in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?

Keywords:

• There's a baby duck in my toilet

Keywords:

• I just gave myself a sponge bath

Comment: with your sock. I hope you don't mind

Keywords:

• It's not a real holiday until someone

Comment: pees on you. Did someone pee on you?

Keywords:

• pic#6744558

Keywords:

• Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots

Comment: entice you?